Back on Day 5 (Your New Daily Routine) I wrote:
Nourishing relationships/communication/community – choose your individuals and groups, make a list and stay connected to those who most matter whether it’s by phone, voice messaging, Facebook, Skype, text, email etc.
This is really the bottom line of what I’m recommending today.
Now a few days down the line, I think there’s a lot of wisdom in limiting the number of people you connect with regularly because, quite simply, it can really wear you out to try and stay in touch with lots of different people, especially if you’re not used to so much daily communication.
For my own part, I have found that staying in touch with only the closest of friends and family is doable. More than this and I start to feel overwhelmed and that I am taking on too much that isn’t mine to take on.
To be clear, as I said before, this isn’t a reflection on the size of our heart or whether we care. That is in no doubt. We don’t need to have that conversation 😉 We all care, we all want to help people, and yet, we have to keep a healthy balance of looking after ourselves well at this time, as well as helping others where the time, money and energy allow.
To this end I recommend exactly as I said above:
- Choose which family, friends and any other individuals you want and/or need to be in regular contact with at this time. Everyone’s number of people will be different. For me personally as I am also still working, single parenting, spinning many plates and running multiple group programs, as well as working with private clients AND am part of other people’s programs, I am having to keep my numbers tight. Therefore my regular check-in with family totals three on a regular basis, and there are also three friends who I am speaking with almost daily – mostly via Voxer which is one of my favourite ever apps (and it’s free!). This is more than enough for me right now 🙂
- Choose which groups you wish to participate in. This may mean joining or leaving groups. It depends what you feel you need at this time. Personally, I am only participating in groups that are teeming with positivity and are in sync with my own personal belief system. That being said, I am limiting my time in other people’s groups no matter how great they are, as my own are my first priority.
- Make a list and be clear on communication method and frequency. This can really help with overwhelm. Sometimes it’s not until you see it written down on paper that you realise why you feel you’re not getting anything done or you feel like most of your waking hours are being spent on the phone/text/WhatsApp, etc. I had a day like this last week. I got to the point where I had to spend the entire next 24 hours completely out of touch with people because I had overdone it so much the day before.
NB: If there are relationships that you feel duty-bound to show up for and yet are feeling overstretched, see if you can alternate with someone else, or reduce the frequency or duration of communication regardless. This isn’t about leaving anyone feeling lonely or removed, but if it is taking a toll on your energy, own self-care or is simply feeling too much, then take a step back and see who else might be able to take over the communication or errands for a while – even just one day – so that you can take a day to rest and recharge.
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I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!
I’d love to know…
- What relationships are you nurturing the most at the moment and why?
- What boundaries have you had to put in place to protect your own time, money or energy and how did you do this?
Please go ahead and share in the comment section below.
And if you feel this has brought value to your life and you want to share this post, YES! Please do. Thank you in advance.
If you want to go back to the beginning of this series…