I’ve been coaching predominantly women for around 20 years now, and one of the most all-pervasive themes I believe all coaches come up against is both men and women not truly claiming for themselves the life and dreams that they really desire.
When you think about it, there are many reasons not to.
Reasons such as:
- What would other people think?
- That only happens for the privileged few…
- I would feel greedy/different/ostracised
- My mother/sister/partner/neighbour wouldn’t approve
- It would make me feel guilty because there are so many other people struggling
- I’m too old/overweight/unfit/damaged/exhausted now…
The truth is, those reasons are not really reasons 🙂 They are excuses masquerading as reasons. And we do this both consciously and unconsciously because…
Reasons are acceptable and excuses are rejectable.
(Yes, you can quote me on that ;))
And let’s face it, if we can convince ourselves and others that we have good reasons for why we can’t have something, then that lets us off the hook, right?
You see, ultimately these dreams and visions for our life don’t come from our personality, they come from our Soul.
And our Soul knows two things:
- These dreams matter. They are not accidents, they are not random, they are crucial to THE Grand Plan and our Grand Plan.
- Actually, when it comes to making dreams come true, the reality is very simple:
- Get clear on what you want and why you want it.
- Start taking steps towards it
- Keep walking, stay aligned with what you want in thought and action.
- Work with what you’re given (and things will come your way that support you – things you can’t even begin to imagine right now.)
- Receive what you want.
But oh no! We have to get in the way and make up all of this other nonsense about ourselves, “life” or other people.
It is such a crying shame, and practically everyone is doing it!
So why am I so passionate about this?
It’s because I have walked both paths.
I absolutely know what it’s like to have dreams and to get completely in my own way with variations of the above “reasons”.
Sometimes, if I really wanted something I would stack multiple reasons up deep and wide and tall so as to ensure that there was a big fat brick wall between me and my dreams, and then I could tell myself all those reasons why it wasn’t possible. And so, of course *I* made it impossible.
And we do this because…?
The fear of NOT receiving the life we want is more painful than just proactively demolishing them before we get too excited.
And that’s exactly what most people do.
But there came a point in my own life – and it took a nervous breakdown to get me to this point – where I declared that the ONLY way I would live my life moving forward was to clarify what I wanted and to then go after it.
And that’s what I’ve been doing since I was 23.
And here’s the million dollar question you may be asking:
“Yes Karen, but did it work?”
Absolutely it worked. Every single time.
And not because I’m special or lucky or any other “reason” some people might like to come up with 😉
But simply because I did what I needed to do and rode off the back of the vision into aligned action all the way to the final destination.
And I know for sure that it works, not just because I’ve been doing it for 23 years, but because it’s always worked, it works for my clients and the sheer volume of times I have put this to the test.
So what’s the bottom line here?
You have to be BRAVE.
You have to be willing to push past the fear of failure and into the future vision of success – and then to keep going… all the way.
When you don’t do this you have secured your failure immediately and nothing is going to change that.
As for myself, these days I am rarely without a “next big dream” (or five!).
Right now the ones I am working on are home-related, career/vocation related and doing the best work I have ever done.
A lot of things are changing actually.
Obviously that’s the short version 😉
So now, how about YOU?
What are you NOW ready and willing to claim for yourself?
What are you no longer prepared to deny yourself of, that maybe you’ve been denying for months, years or even decades?
I’d love to hear in the comments below exactly what you desire for yourself and what you feel your next step is!
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